A couple of weekends ago, my husband and I were invited out for a birthday celebration with close friends of ours. As usual, the husbands are left up to all the planning, the wives go along for the ride. I assumed, as in the past, it would be the 4 of us. Shortly after meeting them at their house, we learned we would be adding 2 more couples to the mix. It had been a long time since we had been out with friends, and I was looking forward to some time without my kids- sorry not sorry!
The evening went as every other evening does with our friends. They are funny, down to earth, and some of the people that I love most in the world- the other couples along with us were awesome, too. We enjoyed a nice ride across state lines in to Missouri, and landed at a local BBQ joint, that I must say, was delicious. We ate our dinner and sat around the table listening to stories from everyone's past. The couples at the table in some way, had all grown up together. They had much in common, and my husband and I were more or less being entertained by their stories of years passed, and history that existed between them. It makes me thankful for friends and stories.
One interesting person that they all had in common was the father of one of the women in our dinner party. They mentioned him more than once, and each time, called him "Church Rob" (using Rob here instead of his actual name), and "Real Rob". When they were talking about boating, the Ozarks, or their memories of him from years back, he was Real Rob. When they talked about him on Sundays and church events, he was Church Rob. He came up multiple times throughout the night, and finally I asked "Is this guy a pastor or something?" Rob's daughter explained that he was not a pastor, but rather someone who is different on Sundays at church than he is through the week. Interesting.....
We ended the evening and started home. The first thing I asked my husband was "do you think people see us as 2 different people?" I didn't really need to ask that question, because when I examine ME, I see CHURCH Ashley and REAL Ashley. It's painful, and true. But normal and human at the same time. You see, I am human, and I make mistakes. Say it with me "I am a human, and I make mistakes." Again, "I am a human, and I make mistakes." I have a feeling that CHURCH Rob and REAL Rob weren't so different than the conflicts that we all face when trying to walk with Christ. What's beautiful about these different sides of people? Let me explain.
After the resurrection, Jesus makes appearances to those that know Him, and love Him. The people that believed, shared in his ministry, and witnessed his death. He appears to the disciples while they are fishing in the Sea of Galilee and this feels like an all too familiar meeting. Not too many years ago, this was the same placed that he called them to stop fishing for fish, and start fishing for men (Luke 5:10-11). Here and now, they see their Lord again, only this time they know him, and love him. They have been fishing all night without so much as a measly fish, when Jesus tells them to cast their nets to the other side. When they do, they catch more fish than they know what to do with!! The drag the nets to shore, excited with the catch. They eat together, and enjoy the presence of their Lord. Luke 21:15-19 records the conversation between Peter and Jesus. As background to this conversation, you should know this:
CHURCH Peter stood by Jesus and said that he would never leave him, even if all others fell away, he never would. Peter loved Jesus, and Jesus Peter. He was one of the disciples in the inner circle with John and James. They were close, they spent every day together in relationship. The very night Jesus was arrested CHURCH Peter said "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you" (Matthew 26:32-35).
Hours later, Peter would deny that he knew Jesus 3 times when questioned. "You aren't one of his disciples too, are you?" He denied it, saying, "I am not". Meet REAL Peter.
"When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?'
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you". Jesus said, "Feed my lambs".
Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you". Jesus said "Take care of my sheep".
The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you".
Jesus said "Feed my sheep".
Jesus had dinner with his friends, too. Just like my our dinner friends, he saw conflicting representations of someone he loved, and He wasn't standing for it. In this moment, Jesus reprimands Peter....and restores him. Three times Peter denied knowing Jesus, three times Jesus asked if Peter loved him, and 3 times Peter said he did. Jesus, pressing Peter 3 times with the same question, would have been a sharp reminder to Peter that he would turn his back on him. He was CHURCH Peter in the moment, and REAL Peter, when reality and pressures set in. In Mark Moore's text, "The Chronological Life of Christ" he describes the conversation this way:
" Yes, Peter had failed Jesus, miserably. But that doesn't mean that he is no longer valuable. It doesn't mean Peter will no longer by given the keys of the kingdom. Peter has been duly chastised by Jesus for his error. No one else needs to do that any more."
Friends- here's the truth. It is quite possible to love Jesus, and fail him BIG time. No matter the failure, His spirit works in the lives of those who love Him to convict and restore us. Maybe you know you are living as 2 different people- the CHURCH you and the REAL you. Maybe you go to church on Sundays, and do all the "right" things. You get your check mark, good human mark for the week, and then go back to living in the same mess you always have. Or maybe, you're like me. You go to church, you have an intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and you try to put Him first. You learn, you teach, and you would call yourself a follower. Weekends are easy, and being around your Christian friends makes you feel at ease and comfortable. You go back into work on Monday morning, and you mess it up immediately with your mouth, your thoughts, your attitude. Both scenarios- GOD LOVES US and we are all equally in need of His saving love and redemptive work. The CHURCH Ashley and the REAL Ashley both need the same thing: More Jesus and less Ashley.
* God used a King who was so determined to get what he wanted, he had a man murdered to cover his adultery.
*God used a prostitute to get in to the walls of a Jericho and defeat that city. Rahab is a woman in the lineage of Christ.
*God used questioning Moses to free His people from Egypt.
*God used Abraham to Father a nation after he doubted God's plan for his wife's fertility.
*God used a murderer to take the Gospel to the ends of the earth.
*He used a back-stabbing, liar as the foundation to build Christ's church.
Each of these people had this in common: They loved God and knew they were flawed. They didn't need others to point out the hypocrisy, they were aware of it themselves. Most Christ followers are painfully aware of where they lack, and they know they need Jesus to fill in the gaps. "Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God's sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin (Romans 3:20).
Do not ever let your failures be the place that you quit. Do not stop pressing forward. Do not stop pursuing Him. Ask for more Jesus, and less you.
I think he's using my dear dinner friends and "Rob" to do His work as I type this. They just don't know it yet.
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