I'm writing this post after a couple of weeks of not writing on my typical Wednesday night. I have had a couple of people ask in passing "Have you written anything this week?". My response has been flippant..."Eh, I've been busy"; "We have been doing so much lately, by the time I sit down, I don't really wanna write"; "I don't know, I just haven't gotten any inspiration lately"--- usual excuses. I was good with those excuses, and then tonight-- major conviction! I begin writing this a bit emotional. Through teary eyes I confess that I don't just make excuses to not write, but I make excuses for lots of things.
I make excuses for my lack of mothering, my over-mothering, my disrespect toward Mark, my mouthy kids, my messy car, my attitude, my snarky side comments because "she deserves it", my binge eating "because I deserve it", and the list goes on and on. I'm pretty good at excuses. I'm pretty good at putting up road blocks and signs in my own path, giving my self a reason to take a different route. You know, one that is scenic, and smooth, and traveled often.
My conviction comes through the Holy Spirit whispering this truth: Your excuses need to stop.
Jesus taught of the wide and narrow roads. One would lead to salvation, and was less traveled, while the other wide road, leads to sin and destruction. The wide path is popular and more travelers frequented it's smooth ride- I'm certain it is also full of excuses. Don't hear me say that my excuses are leading me to hell and destruction- but who I am not ministering to that may very well be on that path because I am making excuses to stay home? To not answer the phone? To keep my office door shut? Who am I NOT telling the good news about Jesus because I'm making excuses that I am too busy, too tired, too rushed, too...whatever! I've accepted Jesus as my Savior, but so many haven't. That news isn't for me to put on a shelf and sit passively to wait for Christ's return.
My waiting should be active. Actively loving, actively professing my faith, and actively putting my hope in the God of the universe.
Tonight, Alivia was telling our family the Easter story with her resurrection eggs (you know, that snotty kid I make excuses for is actually pretty sweet). She got to the part about the stone being rolled in front of the tomb to keep people out. Pontius Pilate placed guards on the entrance to the tomb, next to the stone, and sealed it with his authority. To violate the seal was to violate Roman law which held major consequences. Since they didn't believe Jesus was who he said, they certainly didn't believe that HE would roll the stone away. Rather, they didn't want those pesky disciples getting in, stealing the body, and staging a "fake" resurrection in 3 days. Sounds like an excuse to me.
Once He is risen, the women find the tomb empty first, they run to get Peter and John. Peter and John, in what I like to imagine as the ultimate foot race, dash back to the tomb, John beating Peter there. John is convinced He is risen because Jesus said it would happen! And Peter questions. Peter makes excuses as to how the tomb could be empty, the linens were left perfectly in place, and the stone was rolled back. Excuses. Thomas makes excuses for not believing until Jesus shows him the holes in his hands. More excuses. I'm in good company with excuse makers, but allowing the excuses to stop me from doing God's work is not okay. It's not! The disciples excuses were blown out of the water every DAY by the work of Jesus. Again and again, He showed them the Way. And he does the same for me. And the same for you. He saw our excuses, limitations, and inconsistencies before our conception. He knew where we would fail, and set out to make us strong in Him. My excuses can't hold me back from reaching people with the good news of Christ because so much is at stake. Lives, futures, hopes, salvation. All things that I value more than I ever knew I could value ANYTHING-- and all things I make excuses to keep to myself.
I am thankful God didn't keep Jesus to Himself. I am thankful He didn't make excuses for why His perfect Son should be spared death on a rugged cross between criminals. I am thankful He didn't make excuses in order to disqualify me from His inheritance and beholding His glory. My God defeats all excuses. Death isn't even an excuse for Him.
In this moment, I am humbled by His love for me in the midst of my excuses.
