I don't have a teenager of my own yet. There are lots of days that I wonder how in the world I will be equipped to guide and raise a young person. They are unpredictable and irrational at times. The "right thing" to say is sometimes non-existent, and when you think you finally have them figured out, they quickly remind you that you "know nothing". While I don't have a teen of my own yet, I have students in my life that have impacted me in ways that I could never imagine.
Mark and I are in our 4th year of Student Ministry at The Crossing. I can remember the evening that our Student Minister sat us both down and asked us to be a part of it. We both looked at each, wondering why in the world he would ask us. We felt ill equipped and unprepared to deal with the things we knew we had experienced as teens- relationships, drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, bullying. The first couple of years were hard. We struggled with feeling like we weren't doing enough; saying the right things; pointing in the right direction. We blamed ourselves when wrong choices were made, and we felt the heavy burden of our student's struggles. The first couple of years made us want to quit. When I would want to give up, Mark would say "NO WAY! We are sticking this out", and when he would want to walk away, I would say the same. We spent the first couple of years pulling each other up and trying to focus on what we knew God had for our students, not what we had for them.
The next couple of years, in to the present, have brought us a different perspective. New students, new lives, new problems- new perspective. In last 2 years, we have learned how to love them, be with them, enjoy their presence. We have embraced trying to build a relationship before teaching and mentoring can come. While I struggle to play volleyball, 9-square, and stay relevant (let's face it, I'm not cool anymore), Mark struggles to not "parent". We have realized t the relationship comes first, and everything else flows from it. Much like our personal relationship with Jesus. We spend time with Him, get to know Him and who He is; the teaching and mentoring comes from that love relationship.
We have learned that these students love better and community better than we adults ever thought they could. I hear so much negative about their generation- iGen. The generation that has never known life before iProducts, are self-indulgent and demand instant gratification. I don't see that in them. I see students that rally around each other and love through hard circumstances. They have the ability to see a need, and meet it. They are less judgmental and more interested in making a difference than any other group of people I have met. They care about their fellow students, and lose sleep over those that don't know Jesus- wrestling with their own accountability in that.
They have taught me to put aside the stuff that doesn't matter, and focus on the here and now; they have taught me to live. Future planning is good and all (I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up), but what about right now? What can I be doing better in this moment? How can I reach more people today? They might live for today, and that could be seen as a poor view, but I kinda like it. I spend so much time spinning my wheels trying to complete all that needs done, I forget about those in my life TODAY that matter most.
Besides slang and awkward dance moves (the "Dab"), our students have taught me that within in the body of Christ, and the greater world, they are the future. They will be the adults leading my children some day. I look at each of them, and see how far they have come. I have seen them overcome family situations that seem impossible, pressure that is insurmountable, relationships that are devastating. They have seen, heard, and been a part of things I could never imagine, and they come out on the other side. Our students live in world that continuously puts them aside because they are young, but I hear Paul tell Timothy
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity" (1Tim.4:12).
I've seen them bring their families to Christ, baptize their friends, and witness through their faithfulness. They keep on keepin' on.
These last 2 years of ministry have shown me that these students are not mine, but His. It's never been about what I am doing right, or about Mark giving the right advice. It's always been about loving them, and God doing what He does best- redeeming, renewing, and rebuilding. God has plans for each of them, right where they are. He's only allowed me to be a part of it. He sees the plans He has for them, plans for hope and their future (Jer.29:11). He has created each of them at HIS masterpiece to do good work (Eph. 2:10), He only asks me to come alongside. I love them, but He loves them more.
If you have a student in your life, Jr High or High School, give'em a squeeze for me. Look at them closely and see the future.
See fresh ideas.
See inspiration and beauty.
See what Mark and I see when we look at them week after week.
See why we just can't quit now.
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