If you know me, you know how much I really don't do Valentine's Day. My husband and I will usually exchange a card or our favorite candy, but we don't do anything above and beyond on Valentine's Day. I wouldn't consider myself a rebel, but I kind of enjoy going against the grain on this one. My kids don't make crafty boxes from toilet paper rolls and toothpicks, I don't make super cute gifts from fruit cups, and a romantic dinner is usually a night at Menard's and grocery shopping. That's my life for Valentine's Day, and I like it that way. But one thing I do enjoy about the day, is all the talk about LOVE. The cute sayings, the mushy cards that almost make you puke they are so sweet. I do LOVE, LOVE. Love the verb, love the noun...love is alive and well. So what's love got to do with anything?
From as far back as I can remember, my entire relationship history has centered on the need to be "loved"- the classic co-dependent looking for love in all the wrong places. To me then, love was something I felt. If you asked me to define love from the ages of 15-25, I would have said: someone loves you when they can't stop thinking about you, when they can't see their life without you, when you are their beginning and end. I would have felt loved if someone kissed me, admired me from a distance, or whispered sweet nothings at all hours of the night. Love, to me, meant that I was always happy, satisfied, and content within a relationship. Can anyone relate?
Let me tell you where that view of love got me:
On the altar of being loved and accepted, I sacrificed the things I loved for someone else. On the altar of love, I went from relationship to relationship leaving a piece of me with each person that I will never get back- pieces I wish now that I had to offer my husband. On the altar of self-preservation, I sacrificed my first child to the false truth that "babies only complicate things". I saw things and allowed things that I am ashamed of because it satisfied the person I sought love from. I abused and neglected my body because if I were just thinner, he would come back and love me. My worldly definition of love always left me wanting and searching, losing more of me in the process.
There is good news! If you can relate to anything that I have said, know this: the love the world sells is cheap, fast, and easy. True love does come at a price, but not that you have to pay. True love is sacrificial, unconditional, everlasting, and so wide and deep our minds cannot begin to comprehend. 1 John 4:16 tells us that "God is love.
Because God is love, love comes from God (1 John 4:7). Real love comes from Love Himself. Love isn't that we know how to love, but that God loved us first, and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (1John 4:10). Atoning means to "make reparations, amends, or restitution for" something; we were bought at a price that we couldn't pay. We know what love is because Jesus laid down his life for us, and so we lay down our lives for others (1 John 3:16). His example is our template for love. Worldly love tells you to preserve yourself to maintain a good quality of life. Christ's love compels us to put ourselves aside and to sacrifice for others in the pursuit of an abundant life.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
This verse is more than just some words that people get married to. In Paul's letter to the church in Corinth, he is challenging people to love like Christ did. Put aside false gods, divisions, and superficial sacrifices to pursue LOVE. Not just any love, good and perfect love only found in Christ. When everything in the world passes away- the heavens, the earth, and everything in it- when it all perishes, God remains (Psalm 102:25-27; 1John 2:15). Love remains. Love promises to be with us in the waters, and not let us drown. Love promises to be with us in the rivers, and not let us be swept away. Love stands with us in the fire, and doesn't let us be overcome by the flames. Love sees us as precious and honored. Love will give nations in exchange for our life (Isaiah 43:1-3).
If you are reading this and you have been left broken and empty in the name of love, it doesn't have to be that way. God will take your broken and empty, and give you rest. He will take your wounds, and bind them. You are the work of His hands, and He never intended for you to be used up and discarded. His love won't dishonor, fail, or end. It won't abuse, neglect, or damage. His love won't degrade, humiliate, or demand repayment.
Comments